Thursday, June 29, 2017
I am no billionaire or millionaire but I am one on the journey towards being a young entrepreneur that can hopefully add value for others in society one way or another. As encouraged as it is to have a BIG PLAN and HUGE VISION, as many in the self-help world would explain, A big vision without smaller and micro-managed goals is just a pipe dream. As young adults, it is important to dream but to also be grounded in reality and take action on a day to day basis. Many young aspiring dreamers, such as myself, have fallen to the 'Dream Curse". It is having so much Ideas, Theories, and desired outcomes, but getting stuck in idleness when it comes time to take basic and BORING actions. Since we have a 'dream' but no smaller and realistic goals to get to it, we become idle and lazy which results in self-sabotage, self-judgment, and worst STAGNATION.
With the popularity and growth of self-help, also comes self-sabotage for many of us. We become addicted to the 'feeling' of motivation and whenever we don't feel the hardrock can't stop won't stop stimulation that is motivation, we find ways to slip back to what we feel is our default. For short, we get so caught up in the quick and easy feel goodness of our goals, that we unconsciously become disgusted by the boring, mundane, and many times Painful process of reaching them.
If you are a young person who may be falling on the trap of idleness because of an overwhelming 'dream' that seems exciting but feels far far away this short and direct article will hopefully give you better perspective fueled with a spirit of practicality that you can hopefully take away and apply to your life. The article is organized in a Problem and Solution Format; These are 4 listed universal reasons, (Proven by psychologist and successful men and women who applied such principles) why most will never reach their goals, followed by a solution on how to shift our perspective and habits to actually be able to achieve our important dream(s):
Dreaming will drain your energy
Solution for #1
Become a realist.
See things as they are, not just the way you want them to be. Write DOWN YOUR DREAM(s). This could be about anything. You must know the difference between your big Vision and the difference between a small and reachable destination. For instance, A student who barely finished High School is now attending College. He knows that he gets lazy and has a grade average of C's and D's. His dream is to finish on top of his class and have all A's. This is good, however, how many of us know someone who spoke this language and in the end they gave the same performance or worst and ended with a fail. When this happens, your confidence weakens and your energy for new and exciting goals is drained. It becomes a HABIT that you have trained your mind to produce; To dream, and dream, and hope for the best, fail and try something next.
Writing down your goals does two things, It crystalizes the impression on your subconscious, and two, your mind will be reminded and your vision will sharpen the more you read your Goal(s) to yourself. As explained by Multimillionaire and Author Jack Canifield, "The brain is a goal-seeking organism." Your brain is wired to solve problems and work for you. If you want to have A's, gain muscle, lose weight, qualify for that promotion, you must have a realistic look at where you are, how much work will be required, where you want to end at a certain stage and take action. Writing down your goals and following up with them will put you in a place of constant progress.
Your telling the wrong people and following the wrong advice.
Solution for #2
Find accountability, Find Mentor, get guidance.
If you want to start a business, don't seek guidance and approval from you co-worker whom you love so much but knows nothing about business. What can he possibly tell you? If you want to make more money, don't seek advice from the broke homie who is reckless with it. Find the right people who have SURPASSED where you want to be and more. Listen to their mistakes and their stories. Having someone who is older and wiser than you will put you further then doing research on your own and having to make a lot of mistakes along the way. A mentor has taken the road and he or she will show you, its up to you to walk. A common mistake I have made myself is seeking the wrong help. Most people have good intentions, however, it doesn't mean you should value their every opinion on your goals. Some people, especially your social circle, will usually be the ones to talk you down. Don't take it personal.
Having accountability is a little different from a mentor. Although they usually play both roles, It is someone who knows what you want, believes in you, and will work to make sure you are doing what you say you are going to do. If you want to quit smoking, you don't ask for your stoner buddies to help you stop instead, you get someone who lives smoke free and wont judge, but will be direct and honest with you. This keeps you grounded and realistic. Knowing that someone will ask you "So did you post that blog like you said", "Did you hit the gym today?", etc will keep you motivated and in-tune with your progress. Accountability can be someone around you who gives a rip or even a group forum on the internet filled with people writing down their progress and pushing each other. If you don't have someone like that around search around. Youtube is also full of successful people that desire to improve others. Watch their videos and take notes. Find Accountability, find a mentor.
You don't have the required education
Solution for #3
Educate yourself DAILY.
Its not what you think it means. Education isn't just what the school system teaches, in fact, though I believe one should go to school, the system, if followed blindly, will NOT prepare you for your dreams. You must become a reader, a learner. Experiment with projects, read books written by intelligent men or women about your field, train, learn, and study. The same way one would study for a test is almost the same way one would should approach life. Life is almost like school. Though school is more simple, the student who fails a test repeatedly will always have to retake it. If he or she still fails, the student must stay a grade. In life, it is more complex but the pattern is the same. Those who learn from others mistakes and their own move ahead while the others who choose to ignore counsel, instructions, and the know-how are always a few steps behind. The Gap between those who are fulfilled and living a life with purpose vs those who always seem unsatisfied, tired, and looking for quick fixes is BIG. Why? few of us young adults, ESPECIALLY in our twenties, take a seat back and decide to educate our minds. Dreaming is great, but you must remain a student. You must study the steps towards getting certain results and keep an open mind and apply what you learn.
Take a look at society. We live in the greatest age to be a human being. Technology, Ideas, inventions, and even laws that have created jobs for women, opportunities for minorities, and health benefits for others have never been this great. Not long ago, the idea of an African American President was just a dream. Heck, the Idea for little blacks boys and little white girls playing in the playground was just a dream. Malcolm X was in a prison and in a deep mental pit he had created for himself. He read books, received counsel, kept an open mind, and choose to examine the self-destructive pattern of drugs and crime. Sine then, he changed his name, his thoughts, and strived to make a difference. He realized how the system at such a time was keeping a man from being all he can be. The food he ate changed, he stopped consuming "The white Man's poison" as he would call it (alcohol) and he dived in books. Though he died at an early age, his mark, and many others, have changed the African American culture. Educate yourself.
Dreaming makes you Delusional.
Solution for #4
This sums up all the point into one. TAKE ACTION. Point number one is a good referral. Many dreamers get stuck in their heads and always believe "ONE DAY". That day will never come, because no action is being taken. The subconscious mind responds to ACTION. ACTION towards your dreams and goals stimulates your brain and your brain begins to look for and create solutions. Your brain is meant to serve you, not you serve it. Notice, when you choose to procrastinate, you train your brain to put things of and it seems like your mind has a mind of its own. It is the same in reverse. There is no shortcut! You must take action. Go to the gym, take that course, talk to the girl, save that money, etc. It all bowls down to getting in the needy greedy and getting those elbows dirty. Martin Luther King JR had a dream; his march, speeches, and even acts that got him arrested, were all necessary acts for that dream to be fulfilled, even to the point of death. Even then, it wasn't until years later that his dream came true. Are you willing to take action even when it seems inconvenient? Save that money when friends want to hang? Build that business while everyone is getting free money from the government to go to school? Take action.
Dreamers are too stuck in their heads. Trust me, I am one myself. People who aspire to do great things but lack follow through become the most delusional and unhappy. You must work hard, find mentors and help, and keep taking step by step actions that will move you closer to your goals. Once you achieve it, you gain momentum and the progress becomes more habitual. We all have that friend who wants to lose weight or do this or do that but every time you see them or bring up the topic they have a multitude of excuses. "I will someday". If you don't want to be such person, DREAM and WORK.
The goal is not to make you NOT dream. This is the opposite. Dream! Dream the MORE. Follow these small habits done by the most successful people and you will be a step ahead on getting your goals with check marks.