100 to 0 Real Quick

100 to 0 Real Quick

I mean it when I say I've learned more about myself, school, and life in general in just the 4 short months I've been in college than 4 years of high school EVER taught me. Anyways, back to the topic.

Typical Phone Conversation with my mom:

Mom: Hey baby, how are you?
Me: I'm good.
Mom: ok. How are your classes coming?
Me: They're going alright..
*continued small talk*

I never have in-depth conversations with my parents about school unless I made a really good grade or some cool event happened. That's where the problem comes in. I would never discuss if I'm struggling or having problems. I would hide it because I was afraid of being lectured or being told what I'm doing wrong. The real problem is...I'm too prideful to let people know I'm struggling. So I try to cover it up and hope I fix it. Bad idea. Because that very mentality is what led me to end up in the current rut I'm in with my grades. Again, I thank God for opportunities to grow, learn, and improve.

Because I thought I knew, I didn't seek the help I needed. I just kept telling myself I got this and just continued on ( that is, mixing my priorities up and getting caught up in the wrong things).

Moral of the story: EMBRACE YOUR WEAKNESSES. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR STRUGGLES. It's taken me a couple times to finally come to the realization that you get so much freedom from simply admitting you need help when you have a problem. We fear that we'll look weak if we confess our shortcomings, that people will know all our business. Well, get this. Those who are quick to highlight others peoples' mistakes and discuss other peoples' problems may either be trying to mask their own problems, be afraid to admit they may be going through the SAME problem, or have an even bigger problem.

Self-check. Whenever you get confronted with an issue, do you realize your mistake, pray, and use it as an opportunity to grow? Or do you start pointing fingers and shouting out names of everyone else...but yourself?

Proverbs 21:2-4 "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but
The Lord pondereth the hearts. To do justice and judgement is more acceptable to The Lord than sacrifice. An high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked, is sin."

To yourself, what you're doing is alright because you're using only yourself as an accountability partner...and probably not a very good one. Of course we don't want to tell ourselves when we're wrong at times, because it kills our pride. Are you afraid to tell your parents
about a bad grade? Are you scared to confront that really deep, personal issue you've been fighting with in the dark for so long? Do you not want to tell anyone because you fear you're going to become a burden to them or that they will harshly judge you? Here's where the Presence of Christ just works wonders. We belong to HIM. In times where we feel inadequate, his arms are open wide, yearning for us to come to Him. He WANTS us to confess, he WANTS us to communicate with him. When we do, it is then that he is able to lead us and give us peace in the midst of adversity. Any emptiness that we harbor in our hearts can only be TRULY filled with the Presence of Christ. He will take our burdens, worries, and fears and use them to bless us, lead us, and guide us in the right direction. He longs for us. He wants us to be in communion with Him.

No one wants to be around someone who is negative all the time. In our minds we're all thinking "I got my own problems to deal with. I don't need to hear about yours all the time." We don't want to hear about people's problems every minute of the day. We do not like negativity, especially if we have negative spirits in our hearts that we’re already trying to deal with. The problem is, we’re trying to deal with it on our own. No help, no guidance. We depend on ourselves and our ever-changing impulsive emotions. God sees your hurt. He sees you struggling. As difficult as it may be to believe at times, it is true.

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

God wants us to lay all our plans, cares, and worries at His feet. He does not want us to continue carrying our burdens on our backs and run around in circles trying to figure out what to do with ourselves. In my devotional today, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (it is amazing, I highly recommend it, especially if you want to start learning how to study your Bible J ) it stated, “An ongoing problem is like a tutor who is always by your side. The learning possibilities are limited only by your willingness to learn.” Our continuing problems are like teachers ready to teach us the lesson. However, we can only learn as much as we want to learn from them. Same goes for our relationship with God. He will bless you accordingly. But you have to be willing to listen, obey, and remain in constant communion with Him. You are as close to Him as you want to be, through the gift of free will. He shows you the consequences of going astray, but is always ready to teach, guide and love you when you come back, repent, and truly surrender to Him. That means that it takes being willing to confess, acknowledge and most importantly…die….to our prideful ways…to our arrogance and on a daily basis. More freedom comes from allowing God to bless you through your weaknesses and letting Him work through you than to continue hiding in the dark, fighting that demon. Be willing to grow. Be willing to learn. Be willing to be set free. One day at a time. Gradually. In order for God to build you up, he has to break you down and mold you.

He must remove the filth and debris of your past in order to make room for the new, beautiful creation He plans to make you into. J <3


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