I lament alone, staring at the same four walls
Drown myself in a sea of self-pity
Claiming to resist comfort
But You are present.
I’ve ceased to seek You
I search for comfort on a screen with dark images
Trying to alleviate my self-induced grief
Justifying erroneous ways
Still, You are present.
Loved ones deem me troubled
I refuse to speak
They say they fear those who utter no words
For they are dangerous
I promise, I am not
You are present….still.
I sit here wrapped in a blanket of emotions
My confidence and esteem continues to shrink
I begin to question my existence, worse, have it taken from me
You. Are. Present.
You are present through it all
You call my name
I hear it, but refuse to move
When will I learn to unveil the mask?
All You seek from me is faith
You want to bring me joy
There is no reason for my unhappiness
For You have blessed me and then more
Though I struggle to acknowledge you
Though I feel inferior
It remains in the back of my mind
You are present.
……..And all you want is for me to cry out…”I need You, Lord.”